Stress Less, Lead Better

dennyzhang

URL: https://quantcodedenny.com/posts/eq-playbook/

As a tech lead, I want to ease mental stress and handle conflicts effectively. This is my daily runbook for calm, clear, and high-leverage leadership.

Core Principles (Memorable)

  • Pause Before Reacting: Avoid knee-jerk responses.
  • Listen First: Understand before responding.
  • Focus on Outcomes: Prioritize shared goals, not ego.
  • Protect Boundaries: Say no or redirect low-leverage work.

Daily Action Routine

  • Morning (Start of Day): Review top 3 priorities; decide what to say “no” to.
  • Pre-Meeting: Pause, breathe, note intended outcome.
  • During Conflict: Listen fully; restate understanding before replying.
  • Work Blocks (≈90 mins): Take 5 min stretch/walk break.
  • Midday: Hydrate, check posture, reset focus.
  • End of Day: Log one win and one boundary I defended.

Difficult Situations & Quick Actions

  • Disagreement on Priorities: Frame trade-offs; explain business impact.
  • Boundary-Pushing Requests: Acknowledge importance; suggest better owner; offer light support.
  • Cross-Team / Peer Conflict: Listen, validate points, defuse tension, propose joint follow-up.
  • Escalations from Leadership: Communicate facts clearly; outline immediate + long-term fix.

Show Calm Through Signals

  • Speak calmly; tone sets team baseline.
  • Pause before responding; silence = confidence.
  • Start with the point; avoid long background.
  • Use ownership language: “I’ll handle this.”
  • Ask curious, open questions: “Can you walk me through your thinking?”
  • Reframe issues positively: “We can fix this early.”

Energy & Focus Killers (Clustered)

  • Health Basics: Poor sleep, nutrition, hydration, or movement → fatigue & brain fog.
  • Scattered Focus: Multitasking & context switching → low efficiency.
  • Stress Ignored: Bottling emotions → chronic depletion.
  • Weak Boundaries: Overcommitting → diluted impact, burnout.
  • Environment: Clutter, noise, bad lighting → lower alertness.

Best Practices (Actionable)

  • Sleep & Move: 7–9 hrs sleep; walk/stretch/exercise.
  • Eat & Hydrate: Balanced meals; avoid sugar spikes; drink water.
  • Prioritize & Batch: MITs / Eisenhower; avoid overcommitment.
  • Take Microbreaks: 5–10 mins every 60–90 mins; reflect or journal.
  • Optimize Environment: Light, tidy, comfortable.
  • Communicate Effectively: Neutral, “we” language, summarize agreements, use Pause → Clarify → Respond → Follow-Up.

Common Pitfalls

  • Reacting instantly under stress.
  • Treating conflict as win/lose.
  • Assuming shared context.
  • Taking low-leverage work just to be helpful.

avoid low roi - 少做费力不讨好的事

tech people how to do things is one: better engineering